Monday, May 19, 2014


Lately I've been bothered by the word "better."

It's all over magazines I see while waiting in line at the grocery store or walking around in the library:
Find a better career
Tips for a better sex life
Tricks for better hair...make
Exercises to help you get a better body

The Christian world is not exempt either:
5 more minutes to a better quiet time
Have a better marriage
Be a better wife
Worship better in church, the car, doing dishes in the kitchen

Be a better version of who God made you to be.

No wonder I spend my days beating myself up, stressing myself out, going over my mistakes from the day as I fall asleep.  I spend so much time trying to be better that I don't even know what I'm trying to be better than.  I don't even know who I am right now, in this moment, because my days are filled with trying to be more...better.  Because the literature all around me is telling me who I am right now is not good enough.

I'm calling this out as a lie.  I'm choosing to start focusing on growth instead of making myself better.  The words don't seem that entirely different until you take them by definition. 
(Definitions from Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

*Better - higher in quality; more skillful; more attractive, appealing, effective, useful, etc.
*Grow - to become more developed, mature, etc.

I see being better as a competition and so I'm constantly comparing myself to other women around me.  I see growth being a beautiful process that takes who I am now and over time adds to this woman. 

I want to grow in wisdom.
I want to grow in knowledge.
I want to grow in strength.
I want to grow in love. 

Maybe this only makes sense in my head.  I don't know if anyone will relate.  But I know that coming to this realization and the desire to stop pressuring myself to be better and instead appreciating who God made me to be and how I can grow in the depth of that person is like a weight off my shoulders. 


Debi Guzman said...

Excellent comments. We so need to grow in the Lord rather than being better than those around us.

Debi Guzman said...

So true. We need to grow in the Lord rather than strive to be better than one another.

Amanda said...

So, so, so true. I can absolutely relate. Thanks for calling it like it is... a lie.

Debbie said...

Wow! This reasoning does take the pressure off myself to be something other than who, and what I am.
I understand God loves me the way I am, but doesn't want to leave me this way...He wants to guide me to new growth in Jesus Christ...NOT to make me over to be "better" than Jesus.
So much wisdom from such a young woman, Andrea. You amaze me.
God Bless you, sweetie.

Debbie said... daughter Kelly knows a young Christian blogger that you might be interested in connecting with. Her blog is
She is new to blogging. I've read a post recently, and she uses scriptures like you do. She's from Novi, and attends Northridge Church, and serves in the special needs ministry. I think you would really like her.